Can’t seem to stop reflecting back to a year ago and how
hard I battled depressive feelings trying so hard on a daily basis to trust in
God’s plan. Despite my best efforts it
really was a constant battle and I felt myself falling deeper and deeper into despair. In order to fight against it I knew I had to
turn to God. David Crowder’s song “Shine”
came out about the same time and I identified with the words of that song.… “Shine your
light so I can see you. Pull me up, I
need to be near you. Hold me, I need to
feel love. Can you overcome this heart
that’s overcome”. It’s so hard to face
the feeling of being overcome or overwhelmed by your circumstances. As a Christian, you have to just trust in the
Lord and his plan for your life but despite all of that the natural, human
tendency to rely on yourself is hard to fight.
A year later it seems like a whirlwind…wish I had been keep
a daily journal to track it all because it happened so fast. I looked to facebook for a record of what I
might have been feeling or facing but seems even facebook did not hold the
answers. But it was mid September before we even found out our license to be foster parents had finally been approved. And relying on my memory is proving to lead to inaccuracy. I somehow got
October 17th confused and started believing the 19th was
the anniversary of the boys arrival.
Nonetheless, it has been a crazy year.
When we tell people that it has been a year most say they can't believe it and ask us if it feels like a year. It really doesn't. We've done so much and been through all the major milestones...first holidays/birthdays, etc. but time has just flown by. Looking back at the pictures and seeing all of their chubby little faces and thinking about how they reacted those first days and all we've gone through since then. Noe could walk and feed himself but he was so still and mostly stood and stared. Now he is running (usually with some sort of ball), jumping, and talking up a storm. We had been so worried about his speech delays and now he can say anything and amazes us every day. Junior and Alex both had their share of behaviors initially and the path wasn't always easy but things appear to have smoothed out. Despite those the good times have far outweighed the bad and the boys have brought more joy to our lives then I ever knew was possible.
So as we celebrate a year and wait for the adoption to be finalized I have to realize that we are now in whatever "groove" there is when you have three boys under the age of 5 so it is time to reflect about God's amazing gifts. It is totally true that if you are just faithful God will give you the desires of your heart!
When we tell people that it has been a year most say they can't believe it and ask us if it feels like a year. It really doesn't. We've done so much and been through all the major milestones...first holidays/birthdays, etc. but time has just flown by. Looking back at the pictures and seeing all of their chubby little faces and thinking about how they reacted those first days and all we've gone through since then. Noe could walk and feed himself but he was so still and mostly stood and stared. Now he is running (usually with some sort of ball), jumping, and talking up a storm. We had been so worried about his speech delays and now he can say anything and amazes us every day. Junior and Alex both had their share of behaviors initially and the path wasn't always easy but things appear to have smoothed out. Despite those the good times have far outweighed the bad and the boys have brought more joy to our lives then I ever knew was possible.
So as we celebrate a year and wait for the adoption to be finalized I have to realize that we are now in whatever "groove" there is when you have three boys under the age of 5 so it is time to reflect about God's amazing gifts. It is totally true that if you are just faithful God will give you the desires of your heart!
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